Not a lot i can say to this except for the fact that you are taking responsibility for your actions, which i commend. I cant speak for other admins, but yeah you cause me a pain in the ass when you were like that.
But i like that you came here and explained yourself to some extent. Personally im not one to hold grudges once someone has acknowledged wrongs, so as long as you are genuine in your words, im more than happy to welcome you back into the community with no prejudice.
Take care Lem,